67 Hillarious Christmas Jokes for Kids and Parents 2023

Christmas is all about fun for both children and parents so we’ve rounded up a list of 67 hilarious festive jokes that will have the whole family laughing.

During the Christmas season, we all want to fill every single day with as much excitement, laughter and magic as possible from putting up the tree and decorating with baubles to baking your favourite holiday recipes and buying gifts for your loved ones…

But nothing makes you smile more than a good old festive joke, whether that’s inside a cracker, or Dad pulling out the cheesiest of jokes you know that one way or another it will put a grin on even the grinch-est of faces.

So, with all this in mind, we wanted to make your day a little more merry as we round up the best and might we add both adult and kid appropriate jokes for you to share with family and friends.

Tip: Why not print these off and insert them into your own DIY Christmas cracker set or in a bowl for you to pull out one each day on the run-up to Christmas.

Christmas Food Jokes

• Why did the cranberry sauce go to therapy? It couldn’t get over its jelly issues!
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
• Why did the chef get kicked out of Santa’s workshop? He kept dropping the “yule” log!
• What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
• What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost!
• Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crummy!
• What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite!
• What is a snowman’s favourite breakfast? Frosted flakes!
• How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free? He uses Santa-steam!
• Why did the gingerbread man go to school? To get a little cookie-cation!

SHOP CHRISTMAS RECIPE BOOKS HERE

Christmas Snowman Jokes

• Why did the snowman bring a map to the party? Because he didn’t want to get snowed under with directions!
• What did one snowman say to the other snowman while looking at a carrot? “Do you smell carrots?”
• How do snowmen greet each other? Ice to meet you!
• What do you call a snowman with a great sense of humor? A snow-wit!
• What did one snowman say to the other snowman? “Do you want to build a snow fort?”
• How do snowmen travel around? They ride on an “icicle”!
• Why did the snowman wear a hat? Because it wanted to stay cool!
• What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes!
• How does a snowman get around? By riding an “ice-cycle”!

Christmas Santa Claus Jokes

• Why did Santa go to music school? Because he wanted to improve his “wrap” skills!
• What do you call Santa when he loses his pants? Saint Knickerless!
• Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had low “elf”-esteem!
• How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free? He uses Claus-tarch!
• Why does Santa always go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
• Why did Santa go to school? To improve his “elf”-abet!
• What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!
• How does Santa keep his garden tidy? With his “ho-ho-ho”-e!
• What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses!
• Why did Santa’s helper bring a ladder to the Christmas party? Because the presents were stacked!

Christmas Tree Jokes

• Why was the Christmas tree such a bad musician? It couldn’t “carol” a tune!
• How do Christmas trees get online? They just log in!
• What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? “Quit hanging around, you’re starting to weigh me down!”
• Why did the Christmas tree get in trouble at school? It couldn’t keep its “boughs” to itself!
• How does the Christmas tree get rid of unsolicited tree-mail? It blocks “pine”terest!
• Why was the Christmas tree so bad at knitting? It kept dropping its needles!
• How do Christmas trees greet each other? With tree-mendous joy!
• What do you call a cat that likes to sit under the Christmas tree? An ornament-talist!
• What did one Christmas tree say to the other Christmas tree? “I’m pining for you!”
• How do Christmas trees keep their breath fresh? They use “trim”int gum!

SHOP CHRISTMAS TREE’S HERE

Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use trying to hide, I can see you behind that Christmas tree!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas, you ho-ho-ho!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Jingle.
Jingle who?
Jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tinsel.
Tinsel who?
Tinsel my heart with Christmas joy!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snowball.
Snowball who?
Snowball fights are snow much fun!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Santa.
Santa who?
Santa Claus is coming to town!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice cane for you!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Waddle.
Waddle who?
Waddle I get for Christmas this year?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Coal.
Coal who?
Coal me naughty, but I promise to be nice next year!

Christmas Present Jokes

• What did one Christmas present say to the other? “I’m all wrapped up in you!”
• Why did the Christmas present go to the bakery? It wanted to get a little “dough”nut!
• How do you know if a Christmas present is a musician? It’s always “wrapping”!
• Why did the Christmas present go to the gym? It wanted to work on its “gift” muscles!
• Why did the Christmas present go to school? To get “gifted” education!
• What do you call a present that plays hide-and-seek? A “gift” that keeps on giving!
• What did the Christmas present say to Santa Claus? “I’m all wrapped up and ready to go!”
• Why did the Christmas present bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to “rise” to the occasion!
• How does a Christmas present greet you? With “unwrap”-tastic joy!

SHOP CHRISTMAS GIFTS AT JOHN LEWIS HERE

Christmas Elf Jokes

• Why did the Christmas elf go to school? To improve his “elf”-esteem!
• What’s an elf’s favorite type of music? “Wrap” music!
• How do you know when an elf is telling a joke? It’s “punny” and full of “elf”-ish humor!
• What did the elf say to the shelf? “Elf me up, I’m falling off!”
• Why did the elf join the band? He had a “gelfo” talent for playing instruments!
• Why did the elf bring a ladder to the toy factory? Because the toys were “stacked”!
• What do elves use to take notes in school? Their “elf-abet” notebooks!
• What’s an elf’s favorite subject in school? “Elfitics”!
• Why did the elf go to the doctor? He had a case of “tiny-itus”!
• How do elves greet each other? With “elf” kisses and “elf” bows!

We hope these jokes bring some Christmas cheer and laughter to your holiday season!

Looking for more Christmas party ideas? check out our 21 Christmas quiz questions and answers for family and friends or if facts are more your thing here are 20 facts about Christmas you might not have known.